The key to understanding the Augustinian view (and how obviously correct it is) is realizing that individual moral goodness isn’t the only kind of goodness there is, and that it’s actually not usually the basis for our love for someone.
To clarify I obviously did not/do not believe my daughter is individually morally responsible. But the idea that our passions are disordered, our appetites rebel against reason, that they tyrannize both ourselves and others of their own nature, all seemed more not less credible.