In honor of Mersh I made this with the best “a.i.” money can buy.

Guys, this is crazy click the link and see how Amazon knows every little detail about you

Needs a couple of reshoots, but for a dope like me to produce a video like this in one take on an honest working man wage is pretty damn good. @boneGPT, you are my favorite cult leader and I'm thirsty for some more Koolaid. Thank you.

In 2014, while filming a movie, Jackie Chan discovered that a group of Mongolian locals knew every word to 'Rolling in the Deep' by heart... Even though they didn’t speak English. This beautiful moment was never part of the script.

Bipolar woman posed as substitute teacher to call white students 'motherf-kers' trib.al/jD3GAzW

Respond to a distress beacon on Planet Xylodon, a world lush with some of the most beautiful (and strange) plant life ever seen by humankind. Escape from Planet Xylodon comes to Walkabout Mini Golf on Thursday, October 8th!

For Halloween I’m going to dress as a xanaxxed SRI od-ing wine mom to answer the door and scare the hell out of the trick or treaters

Mother, 35, deliberately crashed car on interstate near Seattle then tried to stab her two daughters to death, prosecutors say trib.al/IZiFKxt

Sorry for the long post. I’m shook. A customer I used to sell butt plugs to stopped ordering them recently, and frankly it’s left me in quite a bit of a situation… You see, I’m a small, independent butt plug shop. We don’t have all the latest models, and frankly the shift in trend towards AI nanobots and live pleasure critters has slowed sales for over a decade now. But still, we made ends meet, and this one customer in particular made up a large chunk of our revenue. I ignored my friends and peers for a long time when they’d tell me that the business was changing, I couldn’t count on the money I made today tomorrow. I needed to diversify and make sure my future was secure. People don’t use butt plugs like they used to. Plus, my butt plugs were never anything special anyway. Most people described them as filler. But it was important for me to maintain an image - a public perception of a successful plug peddler. So I went to a trade show here and there, posted to social media about my anal adventures, and bragged to everyone about how well I was doing, and the awesome life my choices and decisions had provided me. But in reality, things were slow, I barely paid the bills, and that check from that one customer was something I looked forward to; I needed it. My friends and family keep telling me to get a job, find another way to make money, and to grow up. But I feel like I deserve to be a butt plug salesman. I never made much money or had much success, but I’m lazy and I’ve never had a real job. It’s scary out there and I’m almost fifty years old. I’m supposed to admit to myself and the public that I don’t have what it takes to do this and hang up the dream? As if. My customer needs to do the right thing. I know they don’t need butt plugs anymore. I know nobody is buying them. I know the culture has changed and moved on from my antiquated methodology of stretching the anus to induce pleasurable responses from nerve endings. But what am I supposed to do? I need that money and I don’t have the desire or talent to do anything else! So I’m asking you to sign my petition to bully a big company with vibes to keep spending money on a product that makes no profit, provides no entertainment value that can’t be obtained cheaper and easier, and lets me keep larping my way through life, comfortable in my delusion. So allow me to weaponize you, dear reader. Are you going to let this company take away your access to these butt plugs? You need them! You used these every day, right? Everyone talks about my butt plugs! And now they’re telling you that you can’t have them? That you have to use the butt plugs they want to provide? And I have to find another way to make a living, rather than pumping out the back-stock of old butt plugs I still have from 2012 for the rest of my life? Not likely. We have to stop them together! These companies can’t just decide what they buy and sell freely based on the market. We set our value in this industry! Want a scary thought to fuel your nightmares? You could be next. You might wake up one day, check your bank account, and realize that you, too, have stopped being paid in perpetuity for a job you did ten years ago. Don’t think it can’t happen. Wake up, sheeple.

The “lesser known comics” are horrible and don’t attract listeners. There’s a reason they’re “lesser known “

None of these “comedians” seem to understand that if they write new, funny material that it’ll get added. It’s their tired old not-good-enough stuff that’s gone. Be funny now.

I heard a rumor that @SebastianComedy is caving and will start serving soup to comedians outside of the @SIRIUSXM building every Wednesday from 1-2:30. Comedians will need to provide proof of being a comedian. (Like a box of unsold CDs.) #SebastianSirius @sxmcomedyclub

Buster Keaton was different. Not only did he perform all of his own stunts: he made sure they were real. Not only did Keaton do all his own stunts, but, when needed, he acted as a stunt double for other actors in the films.

They blew up the twin towers, faked a pandemic, admitted that they eat babies, and everyone is still out here talking about voting our way out of it...

Auntie Fee's Sweet Treats for the kids (Original U youtu.be/9VXQltHSkyY?is=75kS… via @YouTube

Absolutely divine diva.

Shout-out to legendary Black American hood chef Aunt Fee 🕊️. She was out here saving lives. How I feed 7 people with $3

Happy 42nd anniversary to the greatest SNL short ever made! Men's Synchronized Swimming.

Kevin Brennan in front of The Stand tonight with CWC. Tommy Jordan stream.

RT @TMZ: 🚨😳 EXCLUSIVE: American Airlines alleged masturbator caught on video touching herself.

Subscribe to the Walkabout Connection to receive a code for the exclusive Mail Trail ball trail for free, redeemable at the launch of Escape from Planet Xylodon this Thursday! And if you've already subscribed, you'll receive a code on that day too! mightycoconut.com/connection