I’m absolutely shocked but delighted to confirm I got an MBE in the New Years Honours List. First thought was with mum and dad and wishing they could witness this. Very proud Teessider. Still can’t quite believe it.

In @Cooplands queue. Young couple ahead of me see that I’m only buying a pack of buns. ‘You go first’ Pensioner benefits. Already.

Off to Whitby today! Lovely walk and of course a fine old chippy tea.

Given Lance Armstrong is trending, it’s probably worth reminding people of this splendid bit of Australian humour.

Ayresome Park, former home of #Middlesbrough #FloodlightFriday 📸 Robin Dale

Irene is genuinely absolutely fabulous. We need to be More Irene.

Our Danny Who art in prison Racist be thy name Thy balaclava come Thy will be done In ports as it is on dinghies Give us this day Our daily funding & forgive us our racism as we intimidate those who speak against us & lead us all into aggravation But deliver us from being civil🙏

Daniel Thomas pleading not guilty really makes me smile. ‘Where’s the evidence?’ no doubt he asks.

Well today I became a Frigging Old Age Pensioner. Bloody hell. I know what you’re thinking ‘You don’t look old enough Bob’ And I thank you for your kindness. But I am indeed officially An Old Get.

This remains one of greatest posts of all time and they didn't even realise

Going to say it again. After the next election either Andy Burnham or Kemi Badenoch will be Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. People can scream and shout and complain about establishment stitch-ups all they like. That's the political reality.

😂😂

Ah! The chase for a younger audience. Experienced this absolutely fruitless and gormless strategy in local press for decades. As people age their media consumption changes Hope they don’t touch local sport here - would be foolish in the extreme

Very good article here. Made me slightly reconsider my anger with Tuchel. Slightly theguardian.com/football/202…

For Christ’s sake. Desperate to win the lads, lads, lads vote is it? Bloody ridiculous. Do PM type stuff Andy - give that a go

Gorgeous

As I've been saying, Reform's decline looking locked in now. Only a couple of polls, so we have to be cautious. But clear Tory crossover is approaching.

Thanks everyone for your suggestions and comments You lovely lot

Good on Nigella. Appearing sans dentures.

Saw this post on Facebook and thought I’d share here. “Week in week out this security guard at Arsenal goes out of his way to talk to Callum and gives him advice about getting through school etc (He really struggles with school having Autism). It’s so lovely to watch them chatting away before the game. He deserves from recognition for going above and beyond.” Let’s find this legend of a security guard so he can get the recognition he deserves. ❤️

**FREE TO A GOOD HOME: KEVIN** (I knew ya’ll need a 🤣🤣🤣) Affectionately named after the screaming bird in the Disney Movie "UP". Now accepting applications for the privilege of removing him from our property. Are you tired of sleeping past 4:00 a.m.? Do you worry that your neighbors might secretly like you? Are the small children in your life becoming a little too comfortable outdoors? Kevin can help. 🤭 This premium Tractor Supply Special was sold as a “100% sexed female,” making him both a rooster and an excellent introduction to consumer fraud. Kevin comes fully equipped with: **A commercial-grade alarm system** Activates around 4:00 a.m. and repeats every 2.5 minutes. No batteries, electricity, sunrise, emergency, or identifiable reason required. Cannot be disabled. **Advanced property-security technology** Deters mail carriers, visitors, toddlers, and any remaining goodwill between you and your neighbors. **Selective predator response** When a hawk attacked our flock, Kevin immediately took control of the situation by shoving past the hens and saving the chicken he values most: himself. 😝 The rest of the flock gained valuable independence and problem-solving experience. **A youth enrichment program** Kevin recently began chasing small children, helping them improve speed, agility, situational awareness, and respect for poultry. 😝 He is especially courageous when his opponent is under four feet tall and holding a juice box. 😝 **Executive-level leadership** Kevin contributes no eggs, provides no protection, accepts no feedback, and spends most of the day loudly announcing accomplishments nobody witnessed. 😝 He is ready for upper management. **Outstanding curb appeal** He is, unfortunately, very handsome. This has allowed him to avoid consequences for much longer than his personality warrants. Kevin would be perfect for an experienced rooster owner with plenty of land, no small children, distant neighbors, strong fencing, excellent health insurance, and a deep personal dislike of silence. His rehoming fee is **$0**, reflecting both his market value and our level of desperation. 🤣🤣 We will include his complete service history, which is just a blank sheet of paper with “SCREAMING” written across it. Please share. Somewhere out there is a person whose mornings are peaceful, whose children are fearless, and whose neighbors still wave to them. Kevin is ready to fix all three. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Bam. Lamb 🤭 🎩unknown