Just my back up trying something new
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My kid asked me what my childhood was like so I took the batteries out of the remote and had him change channels by hand the rest of the night.
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Even though we don’t always agree, he still listens, loves, & laughs at me.
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I hate it when I’m forced to teach a stranger manners, but the look on their face when I do somehow makes it all worth while.
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There’s something almost surreal about hangin alone with your bird, singing together.
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let’s throw our phones in the ocean, fake our deaths, and run away together
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this suede miniskirt is so cute and soft it’s a shame you can’t grab my ass about it
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There is definitely a strict pecking order in my family. I always rank just below the goldfish.
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Pulling a float in my Daughters Homecoming parade today
Seeing signs like Class of 2030 and knowing I’m class of 1990 really makes a guy feel old.
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Alien: put these in the correct order or the entire human race will cease to exist
Me looking at the mess in front of me: I’m ok with that
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How old do you have to get til people are nice to you because they think you’re going to die soon
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Sorry I wasnt fucking listening I was voting for fat fucking bears
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When a fucking pretty woman says to do something, I just fucking do it and ponder the fucking consequences later
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