John leaned on Jesus' chest at supper.
Stayed at the cross when every other man ran.
Outlived all twelve. Beaten. Boiled in oil. Exiled to a rock in the ocean.
Thirty years later, Jesus appeared to him in glory.
John didn't worship. Didn't kneel. Didn't lift his hands.
He fell at His feet as dead.
As dead.
Peter did the same thing. After the miraculous catch - boats sinking under the weight - Peter didn't celebrate.
He said: "Depart from me; for I am a sinful man, O Lord."
Isaiah saw the Lord high and lifted up. Seraphim crying, Holy. And the prophet said: "Woe is me! for I am undone."
Job argued with God for 37 chapters. Then God showed up. Job said: "I abhor myself and repent in dust and ashes."
Every tough man in the Bible who saw the living God had the same reaction.
Not awe. Not worship.
Collapse.
Now look at us.
Walking into church with coffee. Nodding at sermons. Shaking hands in the lobby. Forgetting it by Tuesday.
We think we've been in God's presence.
If you'd been in God's presence, you wouldn't walk out the same way you walked in.
The men who saw Him couldn't stand.
We can barely be bothered to sit.
When Jesus returns, there will be no more heroes. No more performers. The hero and the villain will stand equal at last - empty-handed, bare-faced, finally free to be merely beloved...