We have a function called Lagan, which is organised by groom's family. All my uncle did was let us judge on how their preps, and mocked their arrangements on how their spoon weren't apt. Moral Indian elders just have a unsaid competition amongst them. Better stay out of this.
marriage expenses were approx 25L with sangeeth.
all my father-in-law had to comment on right after my parents left was how the caterer passed him no water when asked once. he kept on talking about how bad the caterer was the whole way until we reached home. never a positive word about the sangeeth, the mandap decoration, the reception, the arrangements, the cards, the accomodation, the good food or the gazillion other positives.
lesson:- your DIL never likes it if you belittle her parents and their efforts infront of her. never expect love from her if this is how you behave.