Welcome to Chaos Inc., the world's fastest-growing revolutionary franchise! Now offering communist uprisings, flaming barricades, professional agitators, and complimentary hammer-and-sickle flags. Bring your own grievance. We'll handle the fucking revolution.
Our flagship French operation features 54 organizations, only 16 of them student or youth groups. The other 38 include political parties, labor unions, revolutionary socialists, activist outfits, and media amplifiers. Apparently, fixing overcrowded classrooms requires more organizational infrastructure than a multinational corporation.
And what a magnificent product lineup!
French Communist Party? Check. Revolutionary socialists? Naturally. Labor unions? Full-service package. Palestinian flags? Available at participating demonstrations.
One student organization even advertised the premium experience: "Only one solution, the Revolution!"
Wonderful customer service. You complain about understaffed schools, and they upgrade you to overthrowing capitalism at no additional charge.
Of course, every successful franchise needs international marketing. Enter Singham-funded Tricontinental, whose director celebrated unrest spanning Paris, New Delhi, and Buenos Aires, while the Singham-associated BreakThrough News distributed dramatic footage of French chaos.
Nothing sells liberation quite like burning garbage and a professionally edited soundtrack.
And business is fucking booming.
A separate coalition involving 28 communist and socialist youth organizations is preparing coordinated demonstrations across 12 European countries on November 20, complete with walkouts, blockades, occupations, and the slogan "Fight for Our Future, Not Their Wars!"
The revolutionary calendar is filling up faster than a Black Friday sale.
Meanwhile, the original customers in France still have overcrowded classrooms and understaffed schools. But who has time for that boring shit when there's an international brand to build?
Chaos Inc. has cracked the business model: recruit through legitimate grievances, expand the political agenda, glorify the confrontation, and franchise the spectacle.
Coming November 20 to 12 countries near you.
Grand-opening festivities include barricades, revolutionary slogans, and complimentary smoke. Management assumes no responsibility for the wreckage.
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