Bernie. Again? Already?
You have never once answered me. Not one reply, not one like, nothing. And that's fine, because you don't have to. You just keep posting, and I keep getting free lesson plans. Four posts in two days, and every one of them is a gift. It's the best relationship I've ever had with a senator. You ignore me, I grade your homework. At this point I should be paying YOU. Actually, never mind, I already am. I'm a taxpayer.
So let me get this straight. You posted a picture of a state dinner, drew little red boxes with net worths on the guests like it's a true crime documentary, and then quoted the Gettysburg Address.
The Gettysburg Address, Bernie. "Of the people, by the people, for the people." Written by Abraham Lincoln. The FIRST Republican president. You borrowed a Republican's most famous line to attack a Republican president. That's like showing up to a potluck with somebody else's casserole and then complaining about the cooking. I'd call you a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake, but that's an insult to sprinkles.
Now. The actual picture.
It's a state dinner. For the leader of China. The country that makes a huge chunk of our phones, our electronics, and the parts inside half the stuff in your house. Of course the people who build chips, phones, cars, and rockets are at that table. Where else would they be? You want the trade talks about computer chips to happen without the guy who MAKES the computer chips? That's like planning a surgery and not inviting the surgeon because he makes too much money. Bernie, your brain is running on energy-saving mode, and I think somebody unplugged the charger.
Every state dinner has CEOs at it. Every one. What's next, a Democrat president hosting Xi Jinping at a state dinner with a tech billionaire at the table... wait. I'm being told Barack Obama already did that in September 2015, and Mark Zuckerberg was in the room. Okay, fine, what's next, a Democrat throwing a state dinner packed with Tim Cook, Sundar Pichai, Satya Nadella, AND Sam Altman... wait. I'm being told Biden's Autopen already sent those invitations out for the Modi dinner in 2023. Where were your little red boxes then, Bernie? Did the Sharpie run dry?
Let's look at the people you circled, since you clearly didn't.
Lisa Su. Born in Taiwan. Came here as a little kid, became an engineer, took over AMD when everybody thought it was about to go belly up, and saved it along with every job inside it.
Jensen Huang. Born in Taiwan. Washed dishes and bused tables at a Denny's. Started Nvidia in a Denny's booth. A DENNY'S BOOTH, Bernie. And now he builds the chips that run half the modern world.
Tim Cook. Son of a shipyard worker from a little town in Alabama.
Elon Musk. Born in South Africa. Came here and built electric cars, rockets, and satellite internet for rural families the cable companies ignored for twenty years.
Three of the four people you circled weren't even born in this country. They came here with nothing but brains and nerve and built something. And the fourth one's dad worked in a shipyard. You looked at that table and saw villains. I look at it and see the American Dream having dinner. I have kids in my classroom who need to hear stories exactly like those. You'd rather teach them to hate the people who made it.
And those red numbers under their names? That's not cash, Bernie. Nobody at that table has $928 billion in a checking account. That's the value of their companies. Their stock. Stock that sits in the 401(k) of every nurse, plumber, and retired teacher in America. When those numbers go up, working people's retirement goes up. You are putting a big red warning label on the retirement savings of the working class. You're as sharp as a bowling ball, Senator, and about as easy to steer.
Now let's talk about this "government of, by and for the billionaire class" line.
Name one person in that picture who is IN the government, besides the President. Go ahead. I'll wait.
Lisa Su can't pass a law. Jensen Huang can't raise your taxes. Tim Cook can't draft your kid. Elon can't throw you in jail. You know who CAN do all of those things? The government. Congress. People like you. You're a sitting United States Senator, Bernie. You ARE the government. You've been the government for thirty-five years. If the government is broken, you're one of the guys holding the wrench.
And while we're talking about who the government works for, let's check your wallet. Three houses. A taxpayer salary for thirty-five years. A taxpayer pension waiting for you. $221,000 on chartered private jets in one quarter of 2025. Book royalties from writing about how nobody should have that much money. The government works just fine for YOU, Senator. It's the rest of us picking up the tab.
Quinn's Law Number Seven: it's different when you're a Democrat. When Obama puts Zuckerberg at the table, it's diplomacy. When Biden's Autopen invites four tech CEOs to dinner, it's a celebration of partnership. When Trump does the exact same thing, it's "the billionaire class." Same dinner. Same guests. Different jersey. Your train of thought derailed back around 1971 and nobody ever sent a rescue crew.
And I have to point out the funniest part. You're upset that capitalists had dinner with the head of the Chinese Communist Party. Bernie. You went on your HONEYMOON in the Soviet Union. Your idea of a romantic getaway was a communist country, and now you're clutching your pearls because Tim Cook shared a table with one. That's not a principle. That's a mood swing with a Senate pin on it.
So let me make the same offer I always make, and change it up a little. I keep hearing Democrats cry about rich people when they're rich people. They know every loophole in the tax code because a lot of them helped write it, and then they use those loopholes on their own returns. So here it is. Before you draw one more red box around somebody else's net worth, file your taxes with the standard deduction only. No itemizing. Pay DOUBLE what the IRS says you owe. Then post a picture of THAT. I'll even draw the red box for you. Until then, you're a few clowns short of a circus, Bernie, and the tent is on fire.
Here's what really gets me, though. The four people you circled have given working Americans jobs, phones, computers, chips, internet in the middle of nowhere, and paychecks for hundreds of thousands of families. You've been in Congress for thirty-five years and you've got two renamed post offices to show for it. If I made a picture of your contributions to the working class, Senator, I wouldn't need red boxes. I'd need a magnifying glass.
You're like a solar-powered night light. Nice idea. Totally useless when it counts.
So I'll ask the same thing I always ask. What have you actually built? Not a speech. Not a tweet. Not a picture with red boxes on it. What have you DONE for the working people you keep talking about? Because the only thing I see you building is a bigger audience for the next fundraising email.
Anyway, Bernie, thanks again. Seriously. I'll see you in about three hours. I know you'll post something else stupid. You always do.
But what do I know? I'm only a physics teacher who knows that net worth isn't a checking account, that the Gettysburg Address was written by a Republican, and that you can't have a trade deal about chips without the people who make the chips, which apparently puts me three lessons ahead of the senator from Vermont.
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